When a story of domestic abuse comes to light, the average person’s gut reaction is typically, “Why don’t they just leave?”
What may seem like an obviously simple solution to those who have never been in that situation is anything but.
This week, a Greenville woman died after police say she was attacked by her boyfriend.
According to the police report by the Greenville Police Department, a 22-year-old Terrick Wright Jr. was upset Monday evening when he couldn’t make “immediate” contact with his girlfriend, 25-year-old Tymoneshia Parson.
The report went on to say, when Wright found Parson in the 1100 block of Nelson Street, he assaulted her and forced her into his truck. When they made it to the 1000 block of North Broadway Street, Parson tried to escape, only to be run over by the rear of the truck.
Assistant Police Chief Michael Merchant said Wright drove “at a high rate of speed” into the hospital’s emergency room parking lot and was irate and screaming as he was pulling Parson’s unconscious body from the truck.
I have no doubt the staff at DRMC did everything they possibly could to mend Parson’s injuries. Unfortunately, the damage was just too extensive and she died.
This woman suffered until her last breath, and what for? Because she didn’t respond to a call or text message quickly enough?
It sounds ridiculous, right? However, for some people, something as simple as this situation was all it took for a man to aggressively attack and ultimately kill.
What causes a person to become abusive?
There is no straight-forward answer, but one thing is true: anyone can be abusive and anyone can be the victim of abuse. Those who are abusive do so as a means to gain and maintain power and control.
Another thing, and probably the most important to remember, is no matter why or how it happens, abuse is never OK and it is never justified.
For far too many people, abuse and the fear for their life is something they have to suffer every single day.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner; 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner; and 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. Data for rape was unavailable on male victims.
The stories I wrote this week about Parson reminded me of Shelby Harmon, the Cleveland resident who, in 2012, was run over and killed by her boyfriend, Rodney Fulgham, on Highway 61. Her body was left on the highway to be run over by other vehicles. It was, and still is, a devastating story, as is this week’s.
Harmon’s death occurred while I was attending Delta State University. Because of her story, a fellow student and I organized a support group for women who were either experiencing or had experienced domestic abuse. During our weekly meetings, our goal was to teach women about the cycle of abuse, how to love themselves for who they are and how to help themselves get out of these toxic relationships.
I recently found, buried in the back of my closet, the folder of exercises we used. The very first sheet was a list titled, “Why Women Stay.”
Some of the many reasons on this list include: fear of losing children; fear of retaliation; believes things will get better; lack of financial resources; religious beliefs; feels helpless; blames herself for the violence; fear of failure and judgement from family, friends and community; knows what to expect, giving some sense of control; feels insecure about competence as a person; and exhaustion, too tired to do anything.
There are too many people hiding in shame and fear, many of whom will never reach out for help because they feel there is no other option.
But there is another option.
There are 17 organizations throughout Mississippi that provide domestic violence services at some level, one located right here in Greenville: Our House, Inc.
Our House has been helping victims for two decades, offering several resources, programs, training and more on domestic violence. They also assist people in finding a safe houses to stay in. Unfortunately, several locals I have spoken to aren’t even aware Our House exists.
Police arrested and charged Wright with manslaughter and kidnapping for his actions toward Parson, and he was given a bond of $250,000. Although justice is in the process of being served, the real damage is already done: Parson lost her life. Her family will never get to see, hear or touch her again.
No one deserves to be treated poorly. Everyone’s life matters and has value, which is something many abused people forget after repeatedly being told it doesn't.
As my dear friend and DD-T photographer Bill Johnson often says, “No one loves you more than you.”
He is right, we must love ourselves to help ourselves.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship and are in need of help, call Our House at 662-332-5683 or 833-279-5683. They answer calls 24/7. If you're still unsure, I encourage you to visit their website, ourhousevoices.com. It is never too late to receive help.
Catherine Kirk is managing editor of the Delta Democrat-Times. She can be reached at ckirk@ddtonline.com.
